Happy Monday, Share these…
Silly Facebook Status Posts:
- Before I workout, I like to warm up with 10 sets of selfie’s.
- Bread bowls are the waffle cone of the soup world.
- It’s not you, it’s your bathroom mirror pics.
- “Let’s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise” – sports fans
- Sometimes I’ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I’ll be like, “oh no, that can’t be right.”
- You say “procrastination”. I say “ingenious avoidance”.
- Yeah, so, I don’t usually argue with people who I can remove from my life by pressing a button…..
- I’d be more motivated to work out if the stationary bikes had a little basket to hold my snacks and beer.
- I’ve been putting a lot of thought into it and I think being an adult is just not going to work out for me.
- The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what’s inside.
- I’m pretty sure at McDonalds drive-thru school, they teach you that if someone asks for ketchup, you give them either 2 or 58 packets. There’s no in between.
- If you put a crouton on your Sundae instead of a cherry…it counts as a salad.
- You can’t say splendid without doing a British accent.
- Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.
- If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.
- Dance like the pictures won’t be tagged.
- Why do people with really bad breath always want to tell you secrets?
- Men are like Bluetooths, connected to you when you are nearby, but searching for other devices when you are away.
- I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
- The best stories ever told always end with the words”…and then I got the hell out of there.”
Cat Imitates Human…
You know your cat is thinking it. This cat just does it.
BEST APRIL FOOLS PRANK EVER:
That was amazing. And, his reaction was priceless. Pass along if you’d like.