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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
- I wish I could commute by roller-coaster. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
- If you took a Facebook IQ Test and it determined you’re a genius, the fact that you participated in a Facebook test negates the result.
- Updating my status in the car. Don’t worry, I’m in the passenger seat. Which makes it harder to drive, but fools the cops.
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I ordered a self help tape called “How to handle disappointment” when the package came, the box was empty.
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Never do card tricks for your poker buddies.
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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
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Maybe that thick glass at the bank is to protect us from the tellers. Some of them look mean.
- You can’t hurry love, but you can honk the horn a few times and let it know you’re waiting.
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Some fairy tales begin with “Once upon a time…” Others begin with “If elected, I promise…”
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I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 100+ LIKES in 7 minutes)
- Serial killers rarely answer questions like “Who’s there?”
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People who say they’re in the best shape of their lives are usually about to die.
- A picture is worth a thousand words. Yours just says “slut” a thousand times in a row.
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Marriage; the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy a license.
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I’m at a point in life where enjoying lots of bars just means good cell phone service.
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The benefit of always going in to work late is that when you’re on time, people think you’re early.
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Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work. (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
Thousands More AWESOME Status Updates…
The amazing cat-owl…
Best Ping-Pong Point EVER…
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KW_6Lzr47iU[/youtube]
Wow, how EPIC was that?!? Post that on your wall and get some interesting Facebook comments and LIKEs!
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