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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
- I wish I could commute by roller-coaster. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
- If you took a Facebook IQ Test and it determined you’re a genius, the fact that you participated in a Facebook test negates the result.
- Updating my status in the car. Don’t worry, I’m in the passenger seat. Which makes it harder to drive, but fools the cops.
I ordered a self help tape called “How to handle disappointment” when the package came, the box was empty.
Never do card tricks for your poker buddies.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Maybe that thick glass at the bank is to protect us from the tellers. Some of them look mean.
- You can’t hurry love, but you can honk the horn a few times and let it know you’re waiting.
Some fairy tales begin with “Once upon a time…” Others begin with “If elected, I promise…”
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 100+ LIKES in 7 minutes)
- Serial killers rarely answer questions like “Who’s there?”
People who say they’re in the best shape of their lives are usually about to die.
- A picture is worth a thousand words. Yours just says “slut” a thousand times in a row.
Marriage; the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy a license.
I’m at a point in life where enjoying lots of bars just means good cell phone service.
The benefit of always going in to work late is that when you’re on time, people think you’re early.
Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work. (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
The amazing cat-owl…
Best Ping-Pong Point EVER…
Wow, how EPIC was that?!? Post that on your wall and get some interesting Facebook comments and LIKEs!
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