Math Teacher Fun, Showering Alone, & The 20 Best Facebook Statuses

Make your weekend last longer, share one of these hilarious statuses we collected..

20 Best Facebook Statuses:

  1. Facebook is the refrigerator of the internet. I keep going back to it expecting something to appear that I’ll enjoy.
  2. When plastic bags become currency, I will be king.
  3. Don’t jump to confusions.
  4. That awkward moment when you realize you’re walking in the wrong direction, so you hit your pockets pretending you forgot something.
  5. “I’m definitely going to do that tomorrow.” — Me being delusional
  6. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a taxi fill up at a gas station -_-
  7. I only like clicky pens when I am the clicker.
  8. Kids consider “it’s bedtime” like it’s the first offer in the negotiation process.
  9. I’m having trouble telling if it’s killing me or making me stronger.
  10. My point of view is neither right or wrong. However, it’s educated, relevant, and born of individual thinking. So go f*ck yourself.
  11. Doctor: “We got your test results back. I’m so sorry–it’s Curiosity.”
    Cat: “Oh my god…”
  12. When you pay the bills, you can be as high maintenance as you want.
  13. Be f*cking polite. Please.
  14. If kids can stay on their parent insurance until 26, parents should be able to go their kids insurance at 65. Social Security and Medicare problem solved.
  15. Skinny jeans… making it impossible to look sexy getting undressed since 2007.
  16. In the grand scheme of objects of matter in the universe, apples and oranges are actually pretty similar.
  17. I notice 6:19 on a clock more than any other time.
  18. Men look at a woman’s behind and think “Wow! What an ass.” Women look at a man’s face and think the very same thing.
  19. Stop looking for trouble. I’m right here.
  20. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Math Teacher Pranks His Students:

That was incredibly well put together, bravo!

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App. We’ll see you on Sunday for an Easter Special!