Ballin’ Teacher, Family Walk, and Clever Status Posts

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India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of chap stick.
Kids shouldn’t be sad. Ever. That’s what your adult life is for.
There’s always that one person who catches you doing something weird.
When that one friend kills the joke.
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?
A lot of attractive people are like nice cars with the check engine light on.
Staring at a dead body in a movie to see if you can catch them moving.
If you live in a custom-built house that doesn’t have a secret room hidden behind a fake bookcase, then seriously what is the point?
Best Threesome Ever: Me, My Bed, and My Pillow.
Everyone has that one friend who doesn’t get the hint of when to go home.
Trying to act natural around cops, even when you did nothing wrong.
When I say I won’t tell anybody, my best friend doesn’t count.
Had a dream last night where I was searching for something on Google. Even my subconscious has given up.
Be good to yourself, you’re all you’ve got.
Somedays, I wish I had more middle fingers.
That awkward moment when someone is crying and you’re trying your hardest not to laugh.
I ask my dates the important questions upfront like “Are you cool with a Harry Potter themed wedding”
I hate when I am finally in bed, then remember I have to do something.
Time just shows us who and what matters.