Baby Shower, Fireman Saves Kitten, and Laugh Riot Status Posts

Stop crushing candy and share these…

Twenty Laugh Riot Facebook Status Posts

  1. That awkward moment when I put on my earphone and forgot to press the play button for like 5 minutes.
  2. I decided that I no longer want to be an adult…if you need me, I’ll be in my blanket fort.
  3. One of my favorite things in the world is to to “like” a person’s depressing status on Facebook.
  4. I don’t care what my child grows up to be, as long as it’s not a person who comments on YouTube videos.
  5. At least my motivation gets to sleep in.
  6. Whatever, rich people with wine cellars. I don’t need any fancy shelves because I store my wine in my stomach like an adult.
  7. The bad news is I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. The good news is I no longer give a crap.
  8. Never laugh at your significant others choices. You’re one of them.
  9. Once I put on my headphones, my life becomes a music video.
  10. I would like to thank my arms, for always being by side. My legs, for always supporting me, & my fingers…because I can always count on them.
  11. I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since the world ended in 2012.
  12. The best nights are the ones you never plan.
  13. Don’t ask me for advice. I’ll accidentally ruin your life.
  14. I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.
  15. Go to bed early they said. You’ll be less tired they said.
  16. That asdfghjksjdsl mood.
  17. Right now you have 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support, and you’re scrolling with your thumb.
  18. I just thought of a new social network for kids…. Are you ready for it???? It’s called…….. OUTSIDE!
  19. When someone says “you’re the best,” just know that it’s not really true because I’m the best.
  20. You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Vodka Baby Shower:

vodka baby shower

That’s a creative gift idea right there 😉 Although, I’m not sure the baby will appreciate it, the parents might!

Fireman Saves Kitty (Warning: TOO CUTE!)


I cried. Did you? Share if you enjoyed!

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