Baby LED Costume, Yawns, and Cute Statuses

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Sure hope my neighbors like the three songs I listen to.
The world would be a quiet place if we did that whole “think before you speak” thing.
Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.
There should be a 911 for when you’re lonely.
Being awake is stupid.
Home is where the free food is.
Another beautiful morning I wish I was sleeping through.
I just would like to point out that Cinderella is living proof that shoes CAN change your life!
On one issue, at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them.
All I needed was the kit but they made me buy the whole kaboodle.
I’d probably want to go out tomorrow night if I wasn’t so tired from thinking about how to get out of going out tomorrow night.
I think my girlfriend’s hallucinating. She keeps telling me she’s seeing other people.
I believe every single word you say. It’s when you put them together to form a sentence that I think it’s bullshit
I’m a mess. Not in the “beautiful mess” way. In the “you dropped an omelette all over the floor then stepped in it” way.
I had a life once. Now I have an internet connection and a Macbook.
Not working while at work is a natural born talent.
Two knives taped together are not a suitable alternative to scissors.
Prove that lightning isn’t wizards fighting.
You can’t.
Ringing in the “New Year” apparently is not a valid excuse for showing up to work 3 hours late… in October.