Score more likes, share these…
Clever Facebook Statuses:
- Hey Tuesday, this week, you’re basically Monday and therefore, I hate you.
- I hate texting people who don’t use smileys. I feel like I’m texting an emotionless robot.
- Do bees even have knees?
- Alcohol makes me worse at everything except telling secrets.
- I won’t be coming into work tomorrow because I’m participating in a sleep study.
- Do you want to know Victoria’s Secret? Their lingerie doesn’t look the same on your girlfriend as it does on their models.
- That fake laugh you do when you don’t understand what someone said to you.
- Sometimes I will just get annoyed with people randomly. Like I don’t even have a real reason but their presence just bothers me.
- You should just let your Honor Student drive, because clearly you’re an idiot.
- *closes Facebook*
*opens up Instagram*
*opens up Facebook*
- Facebook – where people you haven’t seen or talked to in 10 years remind you of why that is.
- Everyone’s days are numbered. It’s called a calendar.
- Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.
- We need a new “that’s what she said”
- What if your pillow could collect your dreams and when you wake up you plug it into your computer and watch them over again..
- Astronauts and Doctors are the only people who actually followed through on what they wanted to be when they grew up.
- Don’t promise when you’re happy, don’t reply when you’re angry, and don’t decide when you’re sad.
- Read each sentence:This is this cat. This is is cat.This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is retard cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is 40 cat. This is seconds cat. Now read every third word in each sentence 🙂
- I keep a second pair of shoes at work, I don’t want people to recognize me when I’m pooping.
- Just washed my car with the squeegee at the gas station.
That just about sums it up. The look on his face is classic.
EPIC Freestyle Train Beat:
Wow, talk about amazing raw talent! That guy is good! Next stop, X Factor 🙂