Make someones Monday, share one of these…
20 Clever Facebook Status Updates:
- Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
- I love when strangers smile at me and I smile back and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.
- People who get out of the car and actually have a sit down meal inside McDonald’s scare me.
- You’ll end up real disappointed if you think people will do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as you.
- 3 types of people – people who stay when your life gets rough – people who leave when your life gets rough – people who make your life rough
- I’m going to retire and live off my life savings. What I’ll do the second week, I have no idea.
- You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.
- Hey I bet you guys can’t guess what the Titanic’s least favorite kind of lettuce is.
- How to Train Your Dragon offers no practical dragon training information. NONE. Zero stars.
- Adulthood is like the vet, and we’re all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we’re going.
- Dear guys: Women don’t want pictures of your junk. Maybe try sending a screenshot of your bank statement and see where things go.
- I need medical attention, but I will settle for just regular attention.
- Don’t run with scissors — unless you’re stealing scissors, of course. If so, run. Run like the wind scissor thief!
- Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them?
- Heck is where you go if you don’t believe in Gosh.
- If aliens ever attack, I hope they do it in rows of 8, going right and left directly above me. I’m very skilled at shooting aliens this way.
- People who cook Hot Pockets in the oven, Where are you getting all this free time?
- You had me at 0 mutual friends.
- Fear the man wearing velcro strapped sandals, for he has nothing left to lose.
- Knock Knock. Who’s there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.
Dog is getting told on, and he knows it…Sucking up won’t help you.