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Great Status Updates for Facebook:
- Facebook is daycare for adults. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
- I’ve been taking my Flintstones’ vitamins daily, but I still can’t start a car with my feet.
- Ever had to force a smile while someone takes forever trying to figure out how to use the camera?
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
- Do thin girls know about delicious food?
- I’ve decided to get in shape. The shape will be “potato”.
- If you think what I just said was offensive, you don’t want to hear the things that I stopped myself from from saying. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 100+ LIKES in 53 minutes)
- Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
- When I see someone driving the same car I’m driving, I always peer in to make sure it’s not me from another dimension.
- Dear Heart, Please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood, that’s it.
- The only good thing about being an alcoholic is that no one ever asks me to drive them anywhere.
- Won a time machine on eBay. Disappointed when I received a clock.
You call it poor parenting, I call it raising free range children. (From our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
Two people in every one is a schizophrenic.
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Everybody CHILL out… I got this!
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Wedding Entrance FAIL:
LOL, seemed awesome then…. BAM! Glad to see no one got hurt.
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