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20 Creative Facebook Status Updates:
- Caffeine and sarcasm are my fuel.
- I’m the type of person who looks at the menu for 5 minutes but ends up ordering the same exact thing every time.
- The amount of public bathroom stall graffiti has drastically declined since the widespread use of smartphones.
- When I do something awesome, no one sees it. When I do something embarrassing, everyone sees it.
- Go to bed early they said. You’ll be less tired they said.
- I’d rather look back at my life and say “I can’t believe I did that” instead of saying, “I wish I did that.”
- True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people…… together.
- I’ve been single for a while and I have to say, it’s going very well. Like… Its working out… I think I’m the one.
- It’s always disappointing when a liar’s pants don’t actually catch on fire.
- Finding Bigfoot has been on the air for 5 years. It should be called Not Finding Bigfoot.
- It’s too warm for hot coffee but not hot enough for iced coffee.
- Eventually someone will die in a self-driving car and it will keep going to its destination… it’s final destination.
- That awkward moment when you hear something that kills you inside, but you have to act like you’re fine.
- So I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart ass.
- I’m sorry I slapped you. It’s just you seemed like you weren’t going to stop talking and I panicked.
- Ziploc’s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different from mine.
- If you’re wondering about who the oldest James Bond was, don’t google ‘old man bond age’. Or do, it’s up to you… I’m not the boss of you.
- I wonder how the Never-ending story is doing.
- Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the “ABCs” in my head to remember which letter comes next.
- Some people wouldn’t understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
How I overthink everything..
Sometimes you’ve just gotta push it to the back of your mind and move on.
Awooooooooo! Now, I want a puppy too howl along with him.
Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and video, on our Fan Page.