Make Wednesday count, share one of these…
20 Killer Facebook Statuses:
- Snow is like people: a little bit can be beautiful, too much sucks; and when it sticks around for too long it can make life suck.
- If life is unfair to everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?
- Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
- It’s not really drinking alone if the dog is home.
- If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me… I’ll do it.
- Finally decided to make an important phone call. Cross your fingers that no one answers.
- Eat like every day is Thanksgiving.
- That awkward moment when you didn’t notice I spelt awkward wrong… No I didn’t, but you checked before reading this didn’t you?
- Some say that bad memories cause resentment and pain, but it’s ironic that the good ones often drive us insane.
- I hate how after an argument, I think about more clever shit I could’ve said…
- It’s hilarious when textbooks try too hard at being racially diverse. “Brad, Latisha, Pablo and Kwan were doing a math problem…”
- Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses.
- Yes, I’m here to apply for the position of both baller and shot caller.
- Never call a woman crazy because she will say, “I’m not crazy!” and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
- That blinky light on each side of your car? It’s there so we all know what direction you’re gonna aim your 4,000 lb death machine. USE IT.
- Stupidity needs it’s own lane.
- If I could do a back flip you’d know it because that’s how I would exit every room.
- I took the “Which 90’s Cartoon Are You?” quiz and got “You’re a f*cking grown man. Stop it. Right now.”
- Figure it out people. It’s a 4-way stop sign not a woman.
- Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I’m describing him.
Bird imitates R2D2 Perfectly…
That is both awesome and terribly annoying!