Showering, Angry Cat, & 20 Amusing Facebook Status Posts

Well, at least it’s Thursday. Share one of these..

20 Amusing Facebook Status Posts:

  1. That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think you’re stupid.
  2. There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
  3. I want to be spoiled but I also feel extremely guilty when people use money on me.
  4. College is a constant battle of should I work out, eat, study, socialize, or cry.
  5. I do yoga to relieve stress. Just kidding. I drink wine in yoga pants.
  6. When you are dead, you don’t know that you dead. It’s only difficult for the others. It’s the same when you are stupid.
  7. Study or else you’ll have to be a stripper.
  8. Stalking is such a strong word. Let’s call it….social investigating.
  9. This day will end with either wine or shopping. Probably both.
  10. Unsure if I’m single because nobody likes me or because I like nobody…..
  11. For every action, there is a corresponding overreaction.
  12. My office has started random urine testing of employees to detect traces of hope or optimism.
  13. Hey.. The tequila I drank wants to tell you a secret.
  14. My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I’m at the gym or if I’m at Walmart.
  15. Watching my dad try to scroll through pictures on my phone is like watching someone trying to pet a bubble.
  16. Why do we even ask rhetorical questions?
  17. It must suck when billionaires wake up feeling like a million bucks.
  18. The loudest possible way to open a bag of chips is to try and do so quietly.
  19. Saying “Amen” is like the holy way of saying “true that”
  20. Maybe cats knock things off the table because we push cats off the table and they just assume that’s what they’re supposed to do.

Watching my dad try to scroll through pictures on my phone is like watching someone trying to pet a bubble.Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

This Cat Doesn’t Give a Sh*t..

Oh man, the look on that cats face is priceless!

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