All The Single Babies, Dog Predator, & Top Statuses

Make someones day, share these… 

Top 20 Facebook Statuses This Week:

  1. Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
  2. Continuously improve yourself like your life depended on it.
  3. Drunk people run stop signs. High people wait for them to turn green.
  4. At times, I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear in bubbles over our heads.
  5. Everyone has that one friend that sucks at driving.
  6. I am running out of people I actually like.
  7. I just saw a dude wearing uggs get arrested. Not sure what for, but I’m hoping it was because he was wearing uggs.
  8. Look, lying on my bed all day isn’t being lazy. I’m just waiting. And you know what they say “Good things come to those who wait”.
  9. Next on SportsCenter: Where is Tim Tebow watching the Super Bowl and how will that impact the game?
  10. My life is a bunch of “it seemed like a good idea at the time” moments.
  11. Ever wondered why there’s stairway to heaven and highway to hell? Apparently, more traffic is going to hell.
  12. The way I figure it, whatever doesn’t kill me has lost it’s chance.
  13. Everyone’s an optimist when it comes to their car’s fuel gauge.
  14. I bet Batman’s cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he’s willing to admit.
  15. It is hard to imagine how people showed their anger before doors were invented.
  16. In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I’m right.
  17. Deja poo. The feeling that you’ve heard this shit before.
  18. The fact that this generation of kids will never know the pain of a Blockbuster late fee really pisses me off.
  19. I like when job applications have a “Some College” option so they know I’m an aimless loser.
  20. My favourite word is ‘apparently’. Makes anything sound sarcastic. He’s intelligent, apparently.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

All The Single Babies:


CUTE! Share if you enjoyed 🙂

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