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Home Facebook Status Updates Aging Video, Lizard Shark, and Comical Facebook Statuses
  • Facebook Status Updates

Aging Video, Lizard Shark, and Comical Facebook Statuses

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    Score more likes, share these…

    20 Comical Facebook Statuses:

    1. If the government shutdown affected alcohol or internet porn they’d have this fixed by tomorrow morning.
    2. A bed designed like a toaster: it just launches your unwilling body out when the alarm goes.
    3. Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
    4. I hate it when I’m trying to be serious, but then I accidentally smile.
    5. I miss you, I want you, I need you now, pizza.
    6. I hate when I forget to press send on my phone, then sit & wait there for a reply like an idiot.
    7. Tom & Jerry: the original “1000 Ways to Die.”
    8. If spiders start flying I’m leaving this planet.
    9. I love people who can make me laugh, when I don’t even want to smile.
    10. Do you ever just wake up and go “nope” and roll over and go back to sleep?
    11. I don’t care how old I am. If I lose my Mom in the supermarket I will panic.
    12. The five stages of a breakup: 1. The hating 2. The missing 3. The social media stalking 4. The trying to win back 5. The “What was I thinking?”
    13. I’m not rude, I just say what everybody else is thinking.
    14. I once got a text from my mom where “You’re amazing” autocorrected to “You’re adopted”.
    15. Your license plate should be your phone number… So when you drive like a dickhead, I can let you know about it.
    16. Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
    17. Sometimes it’s the little victories, like depositing a dollar to avoid overdraw fees that make me feel like a responsible adult.
    18. It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim.
    19. Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
    20. Saying “what” but then one second later realizing what they said.

    Yesterdays Status Updates…

    Are you ready for Halloween? This Lizard is…

    Lizard Shark

    Daw, Lizard Shark! I Loves it!

    80 Years of Aging in 5 Minutes (You have to see it!)

    [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRqPJdgdnIM[/youtube]

    That was pretty awesome! Share if you enjoyed it.

    Lots of statuses, funny pics, & videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

    • TAGS
    • Aging Video
    • Comical Facebook Statuses
    • Lizard Shark
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