Afraid of Love, Mastiff Puppy, and Really Funny Status Updates

Score more likes, use these…

Really Funny Facebook Status Updates:

  1. That awkward moment when you leave the shop without buying anything and all you can think is, ‘act natural, you’re innocent’.
  2. People better watch their p’s & q’s before I start handing out f’s and u’s!
  3. The best things in life aren’t things.
  4. Really hate when people say “huh” even though they clearly heard what you said.
  5. I don’t care what your gender is. I’m going to call you “dude” either way.
  6. I don’t care how old I am…
    I will still see Monsters University and Finding Dory.
  7. Things I didn’t learn in high school…
    how to pay bills
    buy a house
    apply for college
    but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
  8. I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
  9. Local news is like Facebook. You get stories you don’t care about, some jerk talks about weather and it all ends with pictures of animals doing funny stuff.
  10. I’m really good at keeping secrets because five minutes later I forget what you told me because I don’t care.
  11. Don’t dwell on your past, disappointments, or failures, you can’t trip on something behind you.
  12. Me opening the fridge: “Baby you light up my world like nobody else.”
  13. I hope history repeats itself, I really want a dinosaur.
  14. If I call you and you don’t answer, I will sing on your voicemail.
  15. What comes after 3D, scratch and sniff?
  16. The people in 1913 probably thought in 2013 we would have flying cars and robots …but no. so far we’ve come up with backwards robes and rubber bands shaped like animals.
  17. Showers are amazing. They make you feel nice and clean, make you sound like a professional singer, and help you make all of life’s decisions
  18. Dear LOL, Thanks for being there for me when times get awkward. Sincerely, I have nothing else to say
  19. Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.
  20. Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Mastiff Puppy:

mastiff puppy

Why is everybody Afraid of Love?

Hilarious! Share it with all your friends who are afraid of love!

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