Share a laugh with someone, use one of these…
20 Entertaining Facebook Statuses:
- I could get out of bed but staying in sounds like the better option.
- 200% sure that all of my friend have secret meetings where they just talk about how annoying I am.
- 2015 is in 13 days and I’m still overthinking things I did in 2008.
- This jar of peanut butter says “may contain nuts” on it. Remember when survival of the fittest was a thing? Good times.
- Putting my GPA up for adoption because I can’t raise it myself.
- Me most of the year: I want that and that and that and that and…..
Me in December: I CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING I WANT
- I need a new job. Trophy wife sounds like a good option.
- That awkward moment when you want to laugh in a serious situation.
- Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you’re doing it.
- Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain.
- BUMPER STICKER IDEA: I had sex with my wife and all I got was this honor student.
- Cop: Are you high right now?
Me: Well I was until you showed up, Buzzkill Mc.Flashlight.
- The most frightening thing about nightmares is realizing that they were created by your mind.
- With my luck, I’ll die and get reincarnated as myself.
- Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps.
- If you can’t fix it with duct tape or a martini; it ain’t worth fixing.
- It’s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
- Look I see that you love me and would kill for me, but this guy over here barely notices me and has a GF. I’ll play the odds. -Woman logic
- Be the strange that you want to see in the world.
- Do you ever just rub your eyes so hard that you just start entering some other galaxy of swirls and patterns?
Accent Challenge Gone Bad…
Guess she forgot how to Jamaican 🙂 LOL! Share or like if you enjoyed.
Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App.