Accent Challenge, Getting Through Life, and Entertaining Facebook Statuses

Editorial Team

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Share a laugh with someone, use one of these…

20 Entertaining Facebook Statuses:

I could get out of bed but staying in sounds like the better option.
200% sure that all of my friend have secret meetings where they just talk about how annoying I am.
2015 is in 13 days and I’m still overthinking things I did in 2008.
This jar of peanut butter says “may contain nuts” on it. Remember when survival of the fittest was a thing? Good times.
Putting my GPA up for adoption because I can’t raise it myself.
Me most of the year: I want that and that and that and that and…..
Me in December: I CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING I WANT
I need a new job. Trophy wife sounds like a good option.
That awkward moment when you want to laugh in a serious situation.
Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you’re doing it.
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain.
BUMPER STICKER IDEA: I had sex with my wife and all I got was this honor student.
Cop: Are you high right now?
Me: Well I was until you showed up, Buzzkill Mc.Flashlight.
The most frightening thing about nightmares is realizing that they were created by your mind.
With my luck, I’ll die and get reincarnated as myself.
Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps.
If you can’t fix it with duct tape or a martini; it ain’t worth fixing.
It’s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
Look I see that you love me and would kill for me, but this guy over here barely notices me and has a GF. I’ll play the odds. -Woman logic
Be the strange that you want to see in the world.
Do you ever just rub your eyes so hard that you just start entering some other galaxy of swirls and patterns?