Make your Facebook friends laugh with these solid gold status updates that will leave them commenting and liking for more!
Hilarious Status Updates for your Weekend:
- Progress is made by lazy men looking for an easier way to do things. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
- I wish girls came with a carfax.
- I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
- Why do people always say “No way I’m doing this,” right as they are getting ready to do the thing they don’t want to do?
- This body was built for neither speed nor comfort. But it idles well.
- A pessimist counting his blessings: 10 … 9 … 8 … 7 …
If you are what you eat, I’m dead meat.
- I don’t usually pick up hitchhikers but this poor guy looks like he’s running late to hockey practice. He already has his mask on. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- Ear wax is disgusting. But when you’re out of Vegemite, you’re out of Vegemite.
- Prison is peculiar. All the pros are cons.
- The thermostat was invented 125 years ago, but I have yet to work in an office with one that has anything but Africa and Sibera as settings.
- Dont be afraid of change, its inevitable. Unless youre homeless. Then you might have to go around asking for it. By the way, I dont have any.
- In a new poll, 80% of Japanese women admit to having faked origami.
- You people don’t appreciate me enough. I’m moving my statuses to TBS.
- I’m probably 0 for 400 in looking for safes behind wall paintings.
- Life in a trash can stinks. (VIA our Tweeter:@FreeFunnyStuff )
You know you log on to facebook too much when your fingers type in “face” automatically regardless of your previous internet intentions.
Awesome Picture for the weekend:
Genius!!! Now, that is one awesome optical illusion turned reality! Post that to your wall and see what your FB Friends have to say.
Funny Video to Post:
Have a wonderful weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post: “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!