24K Gold Status Updates for The Weekend

Make your Facebook friends laugh with these solid gold status updates that will leave them commenting and liking for more!

Hilarious Status Updates for your Weekend:

  • Progress is made by lazy men looking for an easier way to do things. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  • I wish girls came with a carfax.
  • I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
  • Why do people always say “No way I’m doing this,” right as they are getting ready to do the thing they don’t want to do?
  • This body was built for neither speed nor comfort. But it idles well.
  • A pessimist counting his blessings: 10 … 9 … 8 … 7 …
  • If you are what you eat, I’m dead meat.
  • I don’t usually pick up hitchhikers but this poor guy looks like he’s running late to hockey practice. He already has his mask on. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Ear wax is disgusting. But when you’re out of Vegemite, you’re out of Vegemite.
  • Prison is peculiar. All the pros are cons.
  • The thermostat was invented 125 years ago, but I have yet to work in an office with one that has anything but Africa and Sibera as settings.
  • Dont be afraid of change, its inevitable. Unless youre homeless. Then you might have to go around asking for it. By the way, I dont have any.
  • In a new poll, 80% of Japanese women admit to having faked origami.
  • You people don’t appreciate me enough. I’m moving my statuses to TBS.
  • I’m probably 0 for 400 in looking for safes behind wall paintings.
  • Life in a trash can stinks. (VIA our Tweeter:@FreeFunnyStuff )

Bonus Status:

You know you log on to facebook too much when your fingers type in “face” automatically regardless of your previous internet intentions.

Awesome Picture for the weekend:

Magical Light Bulb

Genius!!! Now, that is one awesome optical illusion turned reality! Post that to your wall and see what your FB Friends have to say.

Funny Video to Post:


Have a wonderful weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!