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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
- I gave my wife plastic surgery. I cut up her credit cards. (From our amazingly funny: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed. Chocolate makes it worthwhile.
- Q is just O with something in its teeth.
My stupid phone doesn’t have enough battery left to take any pictures, but it has enough battery to keep telling me that it`s low.
When people post statuses like “Dont text or call me! Bad mood!” Um No one was ever going text/call you in the first place.
Always be yourself, unless you can be a penguin. Then always be a penguin..
- LIKE If your texting speed automatically increases when you’re angry.
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
I’m making a complaint to McDonalds, I found a fry in my salt.
Paperclip: The staple for people with commitment issues.
There’s no panic like trying to press “End Call” when you make an accidental call. (160+Likes in 12 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- Ah good ole, Facebook Mobile…or as I like to call it,”WALK ‘N STALK’!”
- We need a horn that can be honk towards the people behind us in the car.
- Easy IQ Test: starting from 160, subtract 10 points for each honk of a car alarm before the owner can figure out how to turn it off.
- I just ran 3.5 miles in 30 minutes! Ha! Just kidding, I ate some ice cream.
Ah, Facebook Mobile…or as I like to call it,”WALK ‘N STALK’!”
I don’t want a ‘Perfect Relationship’. I just want someone who I can act silly with, someone who treats me right and loves being with me.
You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a challenge.
It isn’t what they say about you. It’s what they whisper.
(._.) TO THE WINDOWS (/._.)/ TO THE WALL…
Women say they love a man in uniform but when I go clubbing in my McDonalds outfit none of them will even talk to me. (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
- In dog beers, I’ve only had one.
This picture brings a new meaning to sub-woofers:
Awwwwwww, how adorable is that?!?!? Repost on your friends FB walls to get tons of great comments and LIKEs.
Awesome 5 Ball Routine…
How amazing is that? Post on your Facebook wall to get LIKEs galore.
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