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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
- Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.
Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break they’re bones. They have over 200 of them.
Getting overwhelmed with the amount of things to do and ending up not doing anything at all.
I want to be treated like a queen. Just not Marie Antoinette.
That feeling of great relief when you find your cell phone after losing it.
- This is like 7 dog status updates.
Even crime wouldn’t pay if the government ran it.
- It’s been so long, I think my virginity is growing back.
- My attitude has issues with your personality.
The nice thing about being single is I’m always there when I need me. (101+Likes in 8minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- Autocorrect can kiss my ask!
- If you Say the word “murder” over and over again out loud, it starts to sound really weird and everyone in this starbucks will stare at you.
- The perfect kiss and the perfect high five are indistinguishable emotionally.
- These animal crackers are crap, this elephant tastes exactly like that giraffe did.
- I get a lot of mental exercise by thinking up exotic ways to avoid physical exercise.
- No, I dont have bad handwriting. I have my own font.
- “Always remember me.” – Anonymous.
- I’m going to talk to my broker today about cashing in some of my stocks. And by that I mean, “taking all my change to the coinstar machine”
Personally, I don’t believe the world owes me a living, although for the amount I make, an apology would be nice. (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
- Is it necessary for the first square of toilet paper to be glued down? Not all of us are surgeons.
Best friends meeting for the first time…
Dancing at the Apple Store:
LOL! That kid has some serious fans with those ladies behind him! Post that one for tons of comments & LIKEs.
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