21 Facebook Status Updates & Best Friends Meet…

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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  1. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  2. Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.
  3. Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break they’re bones. They have over 200 of them.
  4. Getting overwhelmed with the amount of things to do and ending up not doing anything at all.
  5. I want to be treated like a queen. Just not Marie Antoinette.
  6. That feeling of great relief when you find your cell phone after losing it.
  7. This is like 7 dog status updates.
  8. Even crime wouldn’t pay if the government ran it.
  9. It’s been so long, I think my virginity is growing back.
  10. My attitude has issues with your personality.
  11. The nice thing about being single is I’m always there when I need me. (101+Likes in 8minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  12. Autocorrect can kiss my ask!
  13. If you Say the word “murder” over and over again out loud, it starts to sound really weird and everyone in this starbucks will stare at you.
  14. The perfect kiss and the perfect high five are indistinguishable emotionally.
  15. These animal crackers are crap, this elephant tastes exactly like that giraffe did.
  16. I get a lot of mental exercise by thinking up exotic ways to avoid physical exercise.
  17. No, I dont have bad handwriting. I have my own font.
  18. “Always remember me.” – Anonymous.
  19. I’m going to talk to my broker today about cashing in some of my stocks. And by that I mean, “taking all my change to the coinstar machine”
  20. Personally, I don’t believe the world owes me a living, although for the amount I make, an apology would be nice. (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
  21. Is it necessary for the first square of toilet paper to be glued down? Not all of us are surgeons.
Thousands More AMAZING Status Updates…

Best friends meeting for the first time…

Best friends meeting for the first time...

Dancing at the Apple Store:

LOL! That kid has some serious fans with those ladies behind him! Post that one for tons of comments & LIKEs.

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