Professional Cat, Dream Jump, & 20 Quality Status Updates

Happy Thursday – make someones day, share one of these.

20 Quality Facebook Statuses:

  1. Be careful who you make your memories with, those things can last a lifetime.
  2. Push your boundaries or settle for your limitations.
  3. Sometimes I get road rage from standing in lines.
  4. Never trust a girl who has her own face set as the background of her phone.
  5. You aren’t truly good looking unless someone is using a picture of you to catfish someone else.
  6. My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she’s died so I could get out of having to go somewhere.
  7. Please leave your message that I’ll never listen to and delete 3 years from now after the tone.
  8. Double Stuff Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
  9. If puppies could talk I would never even want to try and make human friends ever again.
  10. Worrying is like a treadmill. It takes a lot of your energy but doesn’t get you anywhere.
  11. In heaven, the Cheez-Its are salted on both sides.
  12. You shouldn’t be able to get married unless you’ve put something from Ikea together.
  13. I see London. I see France. I have a map of Europe.
  14. It’s shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.
  15. I’m still waiting for the day that I will actually use x² + y +8 [(x + 2y ² = a-z] + 2x ³ + (- 2z = 2. 4) + 10y – 5Z ³= k= 9 in real life.
  16. I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.
  17. Roses are red. I have a phone. Nobody texts me. Forever alone.
  18. I used to have such high standards for myself and now I’m surprised when I’m able to clean my room or wake up on time or do anything productive.
  19. My taste outweighs my paycheck.
  20. I hope I never go to jail because I haven’t memorized a phone number since the early 2000’s.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates

Professional Kitty…

Caught the Red Dot

Very impressive qualifications, KittEh!

Dream Jump in Dubai is Gnarly..

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App.