Penguin Tickle, Grumpy Christmas, & Great Status Posts

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21 Great Facebook Status Posts

1. The less you give a damn, the happier you will be.
2. Beware of TV. It has the power to turn things like storage, parking and cupcakes into wars.
3. That awkward moment when someone knows you, but you don’t know them.
4. Rap Music is like Scissors…it always loses to rock.
5. The older the Facebook post, the creepier your “like” becomes.
6. Have you ever looked at someone and thought “Yep, you have a person locked in your basement.”
7. A woman has the last word in any argument… Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
8. I think I invented some new kama sutra moves trying to reach the remote without getting up.
9. Showing your friend a funny video on YouTube and constantly checking their face to make sure they’re enjoying it…
10. I’ve always wanted to get into a cab and yell, ‘Follow that car!!!’
11. Sharks kill about 5 people yearly, vending machines kill 23. Do I really want that bag of Doritos? Hmmm…
12. It has been brought to my attention that the stick figure decals on the back windows of vehicles are NOT pedestrian “kill” scores, but, actually are meant to represent members of your family. I’ll be removing mine A.S.A.P. to avoid any further confusion.
13. That awkward moment when you realize the garbage goes out more than you.
14. I hate when a texting convo goes like this You: heyy. Them: hey! You: watzup? Them: nothin wbu? You: same. Them: cool. You: yea Them: haha. You: lol. Them: yep.
15. I saw something that reminded me of you…but don’t worry, I flushed the toilet and washed my hands.
16. So let me get this straight. A woman who has fake hair, nails, eyelashes, breasts, lips, buttocks, as well as a fake tan also has the nerve to ask for a real man?
17. Karma is like a rubber-band: it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face.
18. If you carry the bricks from your past relationship(s) to the new one you will build the same house.
19. I’ve ruined so many good songs on bad memories.
20. My shower only has two options: 3rd degree burns or skinny dipping in Antarctica.
21. “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.” – ernest hemingway

Have a Grumpy Cat Christmas:

If that doesn’t make your day, I don’t know what will! Share along this wonderfully grumpy holiday message 🙂 spread the grumpy cat cheer to all your Facebook friends.

This is what happens when you tickle a penguin…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wTWWjYTe1I[/youtube]

So. Cute. Can’t. Breath…. Must Share.