Awesome and Fresh Status Updates for Facebook:
Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App – Huge *Free* update coming soon!)
Procrastinators! The leaders of tomorrow.
- There’s nothing a “Baby On Board” sticker says that the Honda Odyssey it’s on doesn’t already say.
All men are idiots…and I married their king.
- Hey Nikon, just a friendly heads-up here… NOBODY gives one single crap what camera Ashton Kutcher uses.
- I just signed a 10 million dollar contract to play for the Cowboys next year. Now, I just need to get them to sign it.
- I don’t give a crap, but if I did, you’d be the first person I’d give it to. ツ ( “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily Funny Status Updates)
- Show me a person who doesn’t walk on the escalator and I’ll show you a person who will transition poorly into the zombie apocalypse.
- The good thing about multiple personalities is that if you collect enough of them you’re prepared for any situation.
- Some things are better left unsaid … like those times you criticize me.
- Zuckerberg: “the more you know about a person, the better conversation you can have with them.” Obviously the guy has never been married.
- A person hates u for 1 of 3 reasons. 1.They wanna be you 2.They hate themselves 3.They see you as a threat
- If just 20% of the people on Twitter who have jobs actually performed them, the economy would recover and the Fail Whale would die. (@FreeFunnyStuff )
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