Witty Status Updates for Facebook

Welcome back friends. Time to start another awesome week! You’re going to have a good week, I just know it. Here are some witty status updates for Facebook to help get you through the week…

Witty Status Updates for Facebook:

  • I intend to live forever – so far so good.
  • 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  • The bank called me because of suspicious activity on my debit card. I couldn’t believe I bought a gym membership either
  • I was never my mother’s favorite, which I guess would have been OK, if I wasn’t an only child.  (from our Facebook Fan Page)
  • The Old Lie: “The check is in the mail.” The New Lie: “I haven’t checked my email.”
  • I used to be a marathon runner, but couldn’t stand the agony of de feet.

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Well that is it for today folks.  If you want more content Join our Facebook Fan Page or buy our new eBook, it’s only $5 and totally worth it.