Wake up and accomplish something! Half the week is over already friends, and we all know the only way to survive is to laugh your way through it…
Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and the woman gets her master’s.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App – Over 25k/users that average over 5+comments & likes per status update!)
- Programmers do it beta.
- BECOME an unpaid, on-call IT Support person by letting your neighbours know you ‘work in computers a bit’.
- Little know, but true, fact: At 120 miles per hour, a Formula One car generates so much downforce that it can drive upside down on the roof of a tunnel.
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.ツ (Want more like this one? “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily funny status updates)
“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” – Albert Einstein
When I was born, my parents hit the jerkpot.
I really admire people who keep going even though the are in huge amounts of debt. They deserve a lot of credit.
It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper. (By way of @FreeFunnyStuff our red-headed stepchild of a twitter account.)
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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Funny Video to Post:
I’m sad to admit but that 5 year old dances 100x better than I’ve ever danced. If you need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post: “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Make sure to stop by tomorrow for more hilarious content.