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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
- You’re never too old to learn something stupid. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App– Over 25k/users that average over 5+comments & likes per status update!)
- I got a used UPS truck. Hate the color. And the uniform. But I can park it anywhere.
- I’m on the Information Superhighway. But I’m in the slow lane and my blinker’s on.
- I have an 8 to 5 job and a 10 to 2 paycheck.
- So, this ‘One Laptop Per Child’ thing. Where do I drop off the child and where do I pick up the laptop? ツ (Want more like this one? “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily funny status updates, thanks to Lisa for submitting this one!)
- George Washington is the only president who didn’t blame the previous administration for his troubles.
- When carrying a sleeping child to bed in the dark, make sure all intervening doors are open. Babies make cranky, ineffective battering rams.
- Went to “The Social Network.” I ran into people I didn’t like in high school and they kept showing me pictures of their kids.
- Boy : Is Ur Name Google? , Girl : NO!!..Why? , Boy : cuz u Got Everything am searching For.
- Sometimes I find it helpful to ask myself: “What would a competent person do in my situation?”
- The next time you’re tempted to crack an easy joke about a typo on a Chinese menu, consider how well you write in Mandarin or Cantonese.
- Why does “new and improved” always end up “expensive and crappy”?
- A police recruit was asked during exam, “What would u do if u had to arrest ur own wife?” He said, “Call for backup.”
- I’ve never tipped a cow. Then again, one has never served me food. (From our Twitter account @FreeFunnyStuff )
Funny Picture to Post:
Hahah, I prefer not to work but okay.
Funny Video to Post:
Haha, classic prank! Please stop in tomorrow for the always funny – mid-week status updates. Get more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post: “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.