Big Brother gets Big Surpise, College Life, & Top 20 Daily Statuses

Hey, at least it’s almost Friday, make someone smile share one of these…

Top 20 Daily Status Updates:

  1. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit a better argument than that.
  2. When all is said and done, there’s always someone who’s still talking.
  3. “I want to be inside you.” – me, to my bed
  4. Someone’s going to ruin things; it might as well be me.
  5. Kanye West should buy YouTube ads that play before Taylor Swift’s songs.
  6. Is chocolate a food group? Because I’ve got that covered.
  7. Sometimes I feel like a loser for spending so much time on Facebook. Then I remember there are people out there who comment on adult videos.
  8. If you lie on the ground on your back, it’s like the world is your backpack and you’re carrying it through space.
  9. It’s shocking how many times I’ve pretended to be asleep just to get out of doing something.
  10. The weekend is so close I can taste the bad choices!
  11. If I’m weird around you, it probably means we are too close.
  12. Imagine a cell phone that’s hard wired to your wall and all you can do is talk on it.
  13. [Job Interview] “Do you have any questions?”
    How do they get those tiny ships inside glass bottles?
  14. Google maps should have a “Scenic!” route option for when we’re not in a hurry and just want to enjoy the ride.
  15. When I was a kid I used to prioritize having a cool ringtone. Now I just keep my phone on silent..
  16. I used to be scared of dentists because of the pain, now I’m scared of dentists because of the cost.
  17. Using your smartphone to research your next smartphone is like asking your girlfriend which of her friends you should date next.
  18. Today is today’s birthday.
  19. What if after you die God asks you – “So how was heaven?”
  20. If you are bored you should start studying because you will immediately find something more amusing to do.

Witty Status | Fan Page

Big Brother gets Big Surprise..

OK that was hilarious! A little gross but mostly hilarious. Feel free to like/share if you’d like.

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