The Splendid Weekend Wrap-Up

Welcome to the Splendid Weekend Wrap-Up where we give you an overdose of hilarious content to post to your Facebook/Twitter & share with your social “friends”.  Here you go amigos…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
•  ♬ ♫ ♪ ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı ♪ ♫ ♬ (Download our iPhone App to use cool symbols like this!)
• “Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person.” – Ethel Mumford
• Complain: To explain your pain for no gain.
• ‘Kidnapping’ is such a strong word. I prefer to think of it as ‘surprise adoption’.
• One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her “you cooked it, you take it out”. -Rodney Dangerfield
• I did not wake up this morning. I came to.
• Of course I’m out of my mind. It’s dark and scary in there.
• Ear hair is God’s way of telling you it’s time to buy a sports car.
• Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.
• You’re probably wondering why I gathered you all here. So am I.
• Why do guys cheat on the most gorgeous woman with the ugliest creature?

I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.