The Awesome Weekend Wrap-Up

Ladies and Gentlemen congratulations the weekend is upon us!  I present to you the world famous weekend wrap-up…

Awesome Status Updates for Facebook & Twitter:

• It is often said cooking is an art. But I have very few meals that I would hang on my wall.
• (̅_̅_̅_̅(̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅̅_̅()ڪے~ ~ Smoking Kills  (Part of the 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates on our iPhone App – Over 11,000 monthly users, Average of 5 comments per status update that gets posted!)
• I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
• No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella if they huddle close.
• People used to protest things… Now they just join Facebook groups named 1,000,000 strong against ___________ ツ (From our updated daily FB Fan Page)
• Just when you think you’ve finally hit the bottom, someone tosses you a shovel.
• I wonder if horses want to eat us when they’re hungry.
• I was raised to believe only I can prevent forest fires. It’s a huge responsibility no child should be saddled with.
• It doesn’t matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you have money.
• Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
• If money is the root of all evil, then the stock market must be the Roto-Rooter.
• Everything’s funnier when you’re supposed to be quiet.