The #1 Status Updates for Halloween

Celebrating this weekend?  Make sure to update your status with these hilarious “Halloween” themed status updates…

Halloween Status Updates:

  • How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures? (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App – Huge *Free* update coming late next week!)
  • Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town? Because they don’t have any body to go out with…
  • I don’t have a Halloween costume, but I pretty much figured if I decide to go out I can wear something slutty and have people guess.
  • There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face.
  • “What the hell was that? What the hell was that? What the hell was that?” (Winning Scriptwriter Submission for Ghost Hunters) ツ ( “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily Funny Status Updates)
  • What do you call two spiders that just got married? Newlywebbed
  • What do Skeletons say before eating? Bone Appetite.
  • What do blondes and Jack-O-Lanterns have in common? Both have blank expressions and are hollow inside.
  • So if most girls dress like strippers on halloween, what do strippers dress as?
  • 9 out of 10 voices in my head agree that I’m sane.
  • Going to dress up as Maury Povich and visit the hospital delivery room telling the guy he is not the father. (Thanks @Jason from our Fan Page)
  • I’m thinking whether Lady Gaga will dress up like a normal person for Halloween?? Since she dresses up like a freak every other day!!! (Thanks @Sönz from our Fan Page)
  • Marc Jacobs does the best Halloween #Dexter decor
  • What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets… (From our Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )

Not feeling Halloween? Or you live in a country that doesn’t celebrate?  Then use these….

General Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • I never bought candy bars from those kids on my doorstep so I guess they’re all in gangs now.
  • Got excited by CNN headline “Monster Storms Across U.S.”, then bummed when I found out it was about the stupid weather.
  • A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
  • I can get it together, I just can’t keep it together.
  • My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
  • A secret is something you tell to one person at a time.

Halloween themed Funny Picture to Post:

Dressing your pet up for Halloween is kind of cheesy, but this is awesome!

Bonus funny picture found here.

Funny Halloween themed video to post:


Haha who doesn’t love themselves some Ellen?  Have a safe Halloween or regular weekend (if you live elsewhere) either way stop by for our normal weekend update tomorrow!  And for goodness sake, if you enjoy this then you’ll love to “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App , now available on ANDROID – search Status Updates for Facebook in the Android Market. Thanks for stopping by!