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20 Best Status Updates Today on Facebook:
- If you choose to always make it all about you, that’s precisely who you’ll end up with. (InstaStatus via: Funny Status iPhone App 5★ Ratings)
- Money can’t buy happiness but it sure buys a lot of distractions.
- Today I realized that Mario is definitely a crack head. He wakes up every day wearing the same clothes, runs around in sewers, beats up people for their money, and what does he spend it on? Mushrooms.
- Sure, it looks like an innocent candy cane now, but give me 5-7 minutes and it’ll be a dagger I can take out my enemies with.
- You know you’re bored when you’re playing GTA and you’re trying to drive normally like the other cars.
- This status is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.
- That awkward moment when you get caught staring at an attractive person….
- Happiness starts with, one word. One joke. One text. One phone call. One song. One hug. One kiss. And stops with one mistake.
- Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
- When someone says “It’s getting hot in here” I automatically think, “So take off all your clothes”.
- That random mood when you just want to kill everyone for no apparent reason.
- I love how it’s December and no one even cares about the end of the world anymore.
- My girlfriend just said that I put sports before our relationship. Bullshit. It’s our sixth season together.
- When I was growing up I never knew what I wanted to be, now that I’m older I know that it’s younger.
- Some days I think Forrest had the right idea when he dropped everything and just kept running.
- Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of poo.
- I realize that I’m obviously not learning from my mistakes….I still get up every morning and go to work.
- If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started.
- When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the”
- Ok honey don’t freak out, but someone broke into the house, ate all the ice cream, smashed that picture of your mother, and didn’t do the dishes.
Snowman + Mailbox =
Wow, that is AWESOME! Must…Share…On…Facebook.
Teaching Dogs to Drive:
Who says you can’t teach an old dog, new tricks? This is perhaps the funniest video that you’ll see for the rest of 2012, make sure to share that laugh with your Facebook friends by sharing this video.