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15 Witty Status Posts for Facebook:
- IF anyone is interested, I’ll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6PM until I’m escorted out by security. (From our 4.5 Star Rated: Funny Status iPhone App ★★★★★)
- I must be wishing on someone else’s star because it seems someone else is always getting what I wished for.
- I’ll wear headphones connected to nothing in order to get out of a conversation on a plane.
- Saying “Beer can” with a British accent sounds like “Bacon” with a Jamaican accent.
- Life is s( o )( o ) much funnier when you have a dirty mind .
- Appreciate your parents while they’re still alive. You might regret it someday if you don’t.
- There is a great need for sarcasm font.
- Good hair day = New profile picture. (120+LIKEs in 4 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
- When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
- Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on facebook people that I do know, but i deliberately choose not to be friends with?
- Wonders if Barbie is so popular why you have to buy her friends?
- You’ll never be perfect, nobody is, people just have to accept you for who you are.
- Whenever I see a couple kissing or people holding hands, my heart whispers your name.
- Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push. (VIA our Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
- Don’t tell me to calm down. It makes me want to rip your face off and shove it down a toilet.
This Puppy redefines Cute:
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Kid discovers shadow for the first time…
Dawwww how cute! Share that video with your Facebook friends for instant LIKEs & hilarious commentary.
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