The weekend is almost upon us. Until then rock your way through Thursday with these hilarious status updates…
Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
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Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
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I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App – Over 25k/users that average over 5+comments & likes per status update!)
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My girlfriend asked me, “Do You believe in love at first sight”? I said, “At the first sight of what”?
- My motto: Live long and pester.
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There’s nothing wrong with you that changing everything about yourself wouldn’t cure.
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I wonder if people in the Roman Empire ran Gladiator fantasy leagues…..PPD leagues in particular (Point Per Decapitation)
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I bet dental hygienists understand their children better when they talk with their mouths full.
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Yoga class is great. You can close your eyes and imagine yourself in a relaxing place. Like on your couch not doing yoga.
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The only personal growth I’ve had this year is around my waistline.
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Note to ladies: Diamonds are not rare. They are, after TV sets, the most common possession in America. ツ (Want more like this one? “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily funny status updates)
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Today, so far you have failed to impress me. I am, however, willing to remain open minded.
Cell phones are also the only thing about which men sit around and brag who’s got the smallest.
Funny Picture to Post:

Don’t do it Mr. President!
Funny Video to Post:
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_15G4Y11dY[/youtube]
The old invisible rope trick, never fails. Hahah! Make sure to stop back tomorrow for the world famous weekend wrap-up Cya then! If you need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post: “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.