Welcome to 2013, share these…
Top 20 Facebook Status Updates this week:
- I tried killing a spider with hairspray. He’s still alive, but his hair looks outstanding.
- That awkward moment when you have no drink left, but you still take a sip for something to do.
- “People should just mind their own business,” probably the funniest thing I’ve ever read on a social networking site.
- I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
- My resume is basically just a list of things I hate to do.
- Stupid autocorrect. You always end up posting some thong you didn’t Nintendo.
- Shoepidity… wearing ridiculously uncomfortable shoes just because they look good.
- That awkward moment when you realize that the nursery rhyme never said that Humpty Dumpty was an egg…
- Sometimes when I’m bored I bounce my boobs on the sdajkfdahkdalkdaldada;da.
- I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
- If I could do a back flip you’d know it because that’s how I would exit every room.
- He wanted super glue so I gave him regular glue with a little cape on it.
- Stupidity needs it’s own lane.
- Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses around.
- Trust is like an Eraser, it gets smaller and smaller after every mistake.
- New favorite term: Multislacking. It’s nice to find a name for something you’re good at.
- Kanye West must feel very conflicted right now. He’s excited Kim is pregnant, but deep down he knows Beyonce had the best baby of all time.
- I hate that little line of dirt that you can never get onto the dustpan.
- I can’t stand people who blame everyone else for their problems. I’d be successful and happy by now if it wasn’t for them.
- I hate smart cars and mini coopers for tricking me into thinking there is a parking spot!
Cartoon Hero IRL:
Bonus Funny Pic: Dad Trolls Son on Facebook
Warning: After watching this, you’ll probably want a Pet Fox…
Man, that looks awesome!