Pet Fox, Cartoon Hero, &Top 20 Status Updates

Welcome to 2013, share these…

Top 20 Facebook Status Updates this week:

  1. I tried killing a spider with hairspray. He’s still alive, but his hair looks outstanding.
  2. That awkward moment when you have no drink left, but you still take a sip for something to do.
  3. “People should just mind their own business,” probably the funniest thing I’ve ever read on a social networking site.
  4. I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
  5. My resume is basically just a list of things I hate to do.
  6. Stupid autocorrect. You always end up posting some thong you didn’t Nintendo.
  7. Shoepidity… wearing ridiculously uncomfortable shoes just because they look good.
  8. That awkward moment when you realize that the nursery rhyme never said that Humpty Dumpty was an egg…
  9. Sometimes when I’m bored I bounce my boobs on the sdajkfdahkdalkdaldada;da.
  10. I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
  11. If I could do a back flip you’d know it because that’s how I would exit every room.
  12. He wanted super glue so I gave him regular glue with a little cape on it.
  13. Stupidity needs it’s own lane.
  14. Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses around.
  15. Trust is like an Eraser, it gets smaller and smaller after every mistake.
  16. New favorite term: Multislacking. It’s nice to find a name for something you’re good at.
  17. Kanye West must feel very conflicted right now. He’s excited Kim is pregnant, but deep down he knows Beyonce had the best baby of all time.
  18. I hate that little line of dirt that you can never get onto the dustpan.
  19. I can’t stand people who blame everyone else for their problems. I’d be successful and happy by now if it wasn’t for them.
  20. I hate smart cars and mini coopers for tricking me into thinking there is a parking spot!

Yesterdays Status Updates… | iPhone App | Android App

Cartoon Hero IRL:

Winnie The Pooh Calls Hospitals

Bonus Funny Pic: Dad Trolls Son on Facebook

Warning: After watching this, you’ll probably want a Pet Fox…

Man, that looks awesome!

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and viral videos… Just, “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.