One Liners for Monday

Welcome back friends, hope you had a lovely weekend and trust that you’ll have a wonderful Monday 🙂

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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • Jay Cutler is getting sacked by more NFL players than Kim Kardashian.
  • You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App – Over 25k/users that average over 5+comments & likes per status update!)
  • “You people wouldn’t exist if I weren’t bi-polar.” – Earth
  • Just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
  • Kermit the Frog didn’t much like to talk about his anti-social brother, Hermit.
  • Free parachutes! No strings attached! Lifetime guarantee!
  • Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns. ツ (Want more like this one?  “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily funny status updates)
  • Believe in miracles, but don’t depend on them.
  • I have a new lease on life. Month to month. No utilities.
  • Hey, I just realized our problem. You’re talking!
  • The early bird gets the worm. The late worm gets to live.
  • My soul’s had enough chicken soup. It wants some chocolate.
  • Women say they love a man in uniform but when I go clubbing in my McDonalds outfit none of them will even talk to me. (From our Twitter account @FreeFunnyStuff )

Funny Picture to Post:

Haha, that is just classic!  I feel that way all the time 🙂

Funny Video to Post:


If you think your day is bad, think about that!  hahahahha Enjoy your Monday folks, cya tomorrow!!! Check back tomorrow for more hilarious status updates, pictures, and videos to post to your Facebook or Twitter.  Get more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.