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21 GREAT Status Updates for Facebook:
- That awkward moment when you realize you JUST took off last Christmas’ holiday weight and it is indeed now Christmas AGAIN.
- If I don’t see you before, here’s wishing you and yours a wonderful apocalypse.
- Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
- If you say “Raise Up Lights” you just said “Razor Blades” in an Austrailian accent.
- A women needs to be told how beautiful she is. Even if its from a 6 year old boy.
- If you are what you eat, I’m fast, cheap, and bad for you.
- A lot of people will disappoint you in life. Don’t let any of them be you.
- Some people should need licenses to have kids.
- Imagine how bad it would be if everyone could hear what you were thinking…
- That awkward moment when you over-hear a joke in someone else’s conversation and accidentally laugh out loud.
- Me in class: Wait…. What happened? What do we do? What do we write? When’s the test? What is this? How do you do this? What?
- Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours.
- Gasoline smells so good to me. Am I the only one?
- BREAKING NEWS: Dora the Explorer suffers a heart attack after discovering Google Maps.
- Dear McDonald’s, thank you for not serving hot dogs. I don’t think I could order a McWiener with a straight face.
- Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
- The awkward moment when you can’t understand someone even though they repeated themselves 5 times.
- 10 million people share the same birthday as you. Your personalized horoscope means nothing.
- If you emphasize the ‘po’ in police they’re probably already after you.
- Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?
- Behind every great man is a great woman telling him he’s not as great as he thinks he is.
President Obama pretends to be caught in kids “Spiderman Web”:
Obama sure knows how to play nice! Also, glad to see that Spiderman continues to keep the world a safe place.
So a Black Guy, a Priest, and a Rabbi get on a plane..
The look on that guys face is CLASSIC! Absolutely priceless, you can’t make this stuff up people 🙂 Pass it on!