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Best Status Updates for Facebook:
- I slept great. I woke up horribly.
When facebook starts showing how many times you’ve visited someone’s profile, we’re all screwed.
- I’m bad with names, can I just ignore you?
If I ever have an out-of-body experience, I’m going to try to come back to a different one.
I hope I’m the last guy on earth — I wanna see if all those women were lying to me.
- Just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellant. Now, he’ll never have any friends.
- 5 years from now Apple will “invent” the non-glossy fingerprint resistant super screen and we’ll all be forced to buy every iDevice all over again.
If you’re a size 0 we shouldn’t be able to see you. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 90+ LIKES in 15 minutes)
When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, “Give me a table near a waiter.”
True Love is a friendship set on fire.
What do people in China call their good plates?
- Can’t explain how great it feels to tell a customer no.
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
- The worst thing about getting hit in the face with Pi is it never ends. #MathJoke
- 3.14% of sailors are pi rates. #MathJoke2
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. (Our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
I’m staring at my closet full of clothes, but I have nothing to wear.
Thousands More Funny Status Updates…
Funny Picture to Post:
Remember Tom? Seems that Zuckerberg has got the best of him! That is unless Tom reappears on Google+
Meanwhile at a Pizza Hut in India…
LOL… how awesome is that?!?! Post that on your Facebook wall for guaranteed Likes & Comments!
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