IF these don’t make you laugh, there’s something wrong with you…
Hilarious Status Updates for Facebook:
- Buying someone flowers is kind of a weird idea. Like: Hey, these are for you, now watch them slowly die, because I love you.
- When things don’t add up in your life, start subtracting.
- My girlfriend is gorgeous, selfless, graceful, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type.
- I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
- What the USA government needs is a department of common sense.
- At this point, I’ll date anyone who fully understands the difference between “your” and “you’re”
- Don’t get me wrong, I respect the Amish. What I really wonder is what invention a long time ago caused an entire group of people to go “No! No more technology for us.”
- The doctor advised me not to lift heavy things.. so I have to sit on the toilet to pee now.
- I have a new sponge in the sink and it just brightened my day a little. Being an adult is stupid.
- Girls on Facebook: “getting Starbucks with jenny!” 2 minutes later: 141 pictures and 6 videos uploaded.
- There’s no way that Cinderella was treated like crap her entire life, then a prince tells her he loves her & she wasn’t like “yeah right.”
- I hate waiting in lines. I wish this lady would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
- Wives are funny creatures. They won’t have sex with their husbands for weeks but then they want to kill the first woman who does.
- Highways need 4 lanes per side- A NASCAR wannabe lane, a normal driver lane, an old people who drive 40 in a 70 lane & a “where in the hell am I?” lane.
- Dear Windshield Wipers, Can’t Touch this. Sincerely, The Little Triangle.
- I think my smart phone is broken. I pressed my home button but I’m still at work. 🙁
- That awkward moment when you say “it’s definitely not there, I checked three times!!!” and then it magically appears there.
- My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
- If you want to call into work sick: use the excuse that you have explosive diarrhea… I guarantee they won’t ask any more questions…
- I only check my Voicemail to get rid of that little icon on the screen.
Good point. No excuses! Time to get healthy!
Two Dogs Adorably Interrupt a Soccer Game:
Too cute! Poor little guys just want to have fun 🙂 IF you want to have fun, you’ll share this video on your newsfeed for instant celebrity status 😉