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Awesome Status Updates:
- I always thought by 2013 we would have flying cars. Instead, we have blankets with sleeves.
- That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink.
- No pants are the best pants.
- I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms into body wash.
- I keep my landline active because I know sooner or later Trinity or Morpheus will contact me.
- The sad moment when you return to your ordinary life after watching an awesome movie.
- Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it’s wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.
- I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they call, I always say I’ll be there in 5 minutes.
- If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
- That awkward moment when you think someone was waving at you, so you wave back, then play it off like you were just scratching your head.
- I’m going to lose weight. I’m going to exercise everyday. I’m going on a diet and I’ll stick to it.. Hey, is that cake?
- You don’t have to run faster than the zombies. Just faster than your friends.
- A man walks into a bar. The man looks sad, the bartender asks him, “Long day?” The man replies saying, “No, every day is 24 hours long.
- Wish breaking up with someone meant they had to refund all the money you spent on them.
- Has that kid in the Dreamworks logo even caught a single fish yet?
- If you tickle me, I’m not responsible for your injuries.
- At this point, it’d be more efficient to use “WAS NOT MADE IN CHINA” stickers.
- 20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.
- If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn’t have couches at this Best Buy.
- I really don’t want a birthday card. Just give me the $4 you would’ve spent on it. If it makes you feel better sign your name on each dollar.
Yesterdays Status Updates… | iPhone App | Android App
Horse from Turkey was named the “Most Beautiful” horse in the world:
That is one shiny and attractive horse! But, most beautiful horse in the world? I don’t know about that! What do you think???
Bearded Dragon Attacks Grape, Hilarity Ensues… (Hint: Watch till the end)
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWw8eqb0-oI[/youtube]
About time we see more respect for high quality reptile videos on ye olde YouTube! And, it’s about time that grape starts showing Mr. Bearded Dragon man a little more respect 🙂 Anyhow, share this awesome video on your Facebook for instant likes, comments, and karma.
Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.