Monkey Bodyguard, Adorable Music, & Fun Status Updates

Status Updates for everyone…

Fun Facebook Status Updates:

  • Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends. (From our amazingly funny: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • My husband thinks I’m crazy. But I’m not the one who married me.
  • Behind every successful man, there is a surprised woman.
  • If you can’t face it, moon it.
  • Would you like to save $775 a year on your Car Insurance!? Walk…
  • I wonder why Facebook gives you the option of “liking” your own status? Of course I like my own status. I’m awesome.
  • That awkward little dance your thumbs do when you don’t know how to reply to someones text…  (160+Likes in 7 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • If you’re trying to improve your memory, lend someone money.
  • On Halloween when the bowl says ‘Take one’ You consider that as ‘Take a handful and run’
  • If you really wanna make your friend feel awkward, wait for a quiet moment, then say “Did you really just think that in your head?”
  • LIKE IF you say “never mind” when you don’t feel like repeating yourself.
  • “Have I ever told you about my kids?” “No, and I appreciate it.”
  • I am not a master of disaster. I am merely an apprentice.
  • Whoever said,”It’s easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission” was obviously never married.
  • Past, Present and Future walked into a bar. It was tense.
  • Two secrets to keep your marriage happy.. When you’re wrong, admit it, and, when you’re right, shut up.
  • I’ll play fair if I get to make up the rules. (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • My healthcare plan is pretty simple. I’m covered as long as I stay healthy.

11,001+ Funny Status Updates…

Just Monkeying Around…

Monkey and Dog

Wouldn’t you love to have a Monkey as a bodyguard? Post this awesome picture and ask your Facebook friends what they think!

Adorable Cover Song:


If that doesn’t make your heart melt, I don’t know what will! Share on your wall to see your friends reaction.

Craving more funny statuses, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Use our *NEW* Facebook App  for 11,001+ of Facebook statuses to choose from!