Lonely Dog, Ghetto Farts, and Perfect Status Updates

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Week’s Top Statuses on Facebook:

1. That awkward moment when you talk to yourself and you start smiling like an idiot because you’re just so hilarious.   (*NEW* iPhone App: Funny Status 2  5★ Ratings)
2. There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you’re supposed to be doing something else.
3. Seriously iPhone stop autocorrecting all my f*cks into ducks. You’re making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
4. I’ve accepted that there will always be a time in my life where I will second guess my left and right.
5. When God closes a door, He usually makes sure my fingers are in it.
6. If you’re on the treadmill next to me, the answer is “Yes. We are racing.”
7. If you’re riding shotgun, you’re automatically on cop look-out. With great power comes great responsibility.  (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
8. Indecision may or may not be my problem.
9. Hey Guys, I don’t have Instagram but I just wanted to let you know that I had oatmeal for breakfast. No sugar, mixed with water.
10. It would be a lot cooler if getting “Black Out” Drunk meant that everyone else forgot too.
11. Reading text messages while half asleep is like looking into the sun.
12. How to get your homework done on time? Don’t go on the internet. Block the internet. Break every device that has internet.
13. I like sleeping it’s like death without commitment.
14. My opinions are my wife’s, and she says I’m lucky to have them.
15. If girls were as nice to each other in real life as they are in Facebook comments, the world would be a different place. (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
16. I like people, I really do…it’s the things they say, think, and do that I can’t stand.

Lonely Dog Waits for His Owner:

ROFL! Poor little cutie! I would have to stop and pet him for at least 5minutes after seeing this one. Share this adorable and slightly confused fellow with your Facebook friends/fans for instant likes, comment love, and good times in general.

Ghetto Farts:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFt1Ss6rWJY[/youtube]

Those reactions are priceless! Reality “fart” comedy at it’s finest. Better than half the stuff on TV these days. Pass the gas… I mean video clip along to your friends and see what they have to say about this hilariously gasy viral video.

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and viral videos… Just, “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Try our awesome FREE Facebook App  for 100k+ Facebook statuses to choose from. We’ll be back on Monday, have an awesome and safe weekend!