Kitty Vs. Toy, Smiling Dog, & Best Status Updates

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Best Facebook Status Updates this week:

  1. I’m constantly looking at my phone like it has the answers to all life’s problems.
  2. Love in 2013 means answering each other’s texts immediately.
  3. Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
  4. I think if my phone were to say “I’m dying” 🙁 with a sad face I would rush faster to the charger.
  5. Smith and Johnson are the two most common last names in US. So when you go to the bar, make sure you try putting drinks on those tabs first.
  6. Not sure how to feel about always being the one asked to take the family group photo.
  7. Why do we feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come in thinking “I’m gonna ki..-ahhh. Damn, she’s under a blanket.”
  8. If you watch Godzilla backwards its about a dinosaur who passionately pieces a city back together before moonwalking into the sea.
  9. The faster I type in my password, the more secret agenty I feel.
  10. When your parties have glasses instead of red cups, you’re a grown up.
  11. Take mentos and freeze into ice cubes. Put the ice cubes in your friend’s drink. After five minutes their drink will randomly explode.
  12. Sanity is the art of concealing your insanity.
  13. The awkward moment when you mess up on a word while you’re yelling at someone.
  14. I’ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn’t just put the dots in shape of the actual letters.
  15. The most hated person in any workplace is the one who controls the thermostat setting.
  16. I have no idea how I use to get around in the dark before I had a cell phone.
  17. If you’re out somewhere and can’t find your wife or girlfriend and you’re ready to go, start talking to the hottest chick there and she’ll find you immediately.
  18. Whenever I get sad I just imagine a T-Rex trying to put a hat on.
  19. My wife thinks I’m at work. My boss thinks I’m home sick. These ducks think I’m awesome because I have the bread.
  20. When you were in elementary school, looking up the word “sex” in the dictionary was like watching porn.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Smiling Dog:

Smiling Doggy is Smiley!

Make your friends day by sharing this webgem on FB!

Bonus Cute Picture: Lion Puppy

Kitty Vs. Dog Toy in an Epic Battle:

Kitty swears it’s a ninja 🙂 Pass along this battle of the wits to your Facebook page for instant likes, comments, and karma!

Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Have a great weekend, we’ll see you on Monday!