Post these and the likes will fly…
Comical Facebook Status Posts x 20:
- There’s been over 30 billion messages posted on Facebook, and yet most of us have never even talked to our neighbors.
- Because of tanning beds, 1000 years from now archeologists will think we used to fry people as punishment.
- It’s a shame Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a son named Loogie.
- You know a relationship is starting to get old when the “I” gets dropped from “I love you.”
- I’d understand getting a ticket for not coming to a complete stop if every murder EVER was already solved.
- Those late night text messages when you just confess everything.
- The joke can only be as clever as it’s reader. I need to aim lower.
- There should be a law requiring the cashier to high five you every time you buy a box of condoms.
- Two of the greatest mysteries of the universe: 1) Why are we here? 2) How come Chinese restaurants don’t serve breakfast?
- Cell phone, I dont know why you keep capitalizing VODKA, But I like the way you party….
- I love my toilet. We’ve been through a lot of crap together.
- If you get sexted by someone you don’t like…does that mean you got molexted?
- Some people call me a smart ass, I say I’m just smart with a good ass answer.
- Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
- Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says “trust me, you don’t want to know.”
- I pledged allegiance “to the republic for witches stand” until third grade.
- The people who wear Bluetooth headsets always look like the people least likely to ever receive phone calls.
- Having my back doesn’t mean hiding behind me when things get bad.
- Instead of saying “real life” we should just call it “offline”
- When vegans talk about all the awesome foods you can eat on a vegan diet, they sound like they’re trying to convince themselves, not me.
Kissing Booth Dog:
You know that you’d give a big kiss to this adorable pup! Pass along the cuteness to all your Facebook friends!
EPIC Water Bike Video:
Where do you get one of these??? That was, so cool! Want! Post this to your Facebook newsfeed and see what your friends think of that killer Water Bike video.