Hilarious Mid Week Status Updates for Wednesday.

Hello friends!  Great news, we’ve got some hilarious status updates, pictures, and videos for you to post to get you through “Hump” day.

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • Have you ever dropped something, then caught it, then dropped it again and it shatters all over the place?  Ya, that’s my life right now.
  • A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App – Over 25k/users that average over 5+comments & likes per status update!)
  • I sent my picture off to the lonely hearts club. They sent it back saying they weren’t that lonely.
  • If she farts in front of your parents repeatedly just for the reaction then she’s a keeper.
  • When I see someone using a payphone I always think they’re arranging the ransom drop off.
  • I tried driving today without texting, eating or getting high but it was so boring I fell asleep at the wheel. Thanks, Oprah.
  • I’m thankful that baby teeth are the only things that kids lose while growing up. Imagine the trauma of a nose falling off. Or a leg. “Why’s your daughter hopping around like that?” “Oh, she just lost her baby leg last night.” ツ (Want more like this one?  “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily funny status updates)
  • Someday, I hope to befriend a friendly panhandler & learn the secrets of handling pans firsthand.
  • If it’s yellow, let it mellow, if it’s brown, flush it down. That leaves a wide range of colors I have no idea what to do with.
  • Ever hear of Feng Shui? It’s an ancient Chinese expression which means, “Put your husband’s crap in the garage.” (From our Twitter : @FreeFunnyStuff)
  • With a name like “Earl”, I’m more afraid this hurricane will get drunk and beat a pregnant woman, than I am that it will cause flooding.
One of my pet peeves is women who don’t put the toilet seat back up when they’re finished.
Funny Picture to Post:
This brings a whole new meaning to the term, Anything is Possible.
Funny Video to Post:
Hahahah, who doesn’t love a good scare! Thank you very much for stopping in, we hope you laughed your way through Wednesday!  If you need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.  Make sure to stop by tomorrow for more hilarious content.