Welcome back friends! Hope you had a wonderful weekend. Laugh your way through Monday with these funny things you can post to your Facebook account…
*** Feeling funny? Submit your own & vote on Status Updates! ***
Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
- I danced like no one was watching. Court date is pending…
People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App – Over 25k/users that average over 5+comments & likes per status update!)
Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers? Men don’t like flowers. I’ve been wearing a great new scent. It’s called New Car Interior.
- Rmbr – dooont fbook whljik you driv. It is dngrou7s.
- There is an official UN appointee for First Contact should aliens arrive. I can’t believe I didn’t get that job.
Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
- Filling out a job application. Under ‘Military Experience’ I put that I once went commando for 4 days in a row.
- Good friends make the world go round, but good tequila makes the room go round. ツ (Want more like this one? “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily funny status updates)
- If it ain’t broke, don’t let me any.where.near.it.
- They arrested the bartender for taking liquor home. I believe the official charge was emboozlement. (By way of @FreeFunnyStuff our red-headed stepchild of a twitter account.)
He who laughs last might just be in a different time zone.
Funny Picture to Post:
Funny video to Post: