Happy Tuesday everyone! Post these funny statuses to your Facebook and you’ll be sure to get a bundle of comments & likes…
Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App)
- Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
- Twitter= I need to pee. Facebook= I peed! Foursquare= I’m peeing here. Quora= Why am I peeing? Youtube= Watch this pee! LinkedIn= I pee well
- Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That’s where I come in.
- When your only tool is a set of stairs, every coworker looks like a Slinky.
- I’m a morning person. But not before 11:00 AM.
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
Nobody’s ugly after 2 a.m.
- I go on deleting sprees all the time on Facebook, but when I’ve noticed that someone I haven’t spoken to in ages and never plan to see again has deleted me….it truly truly hurts.
- My new diet is heavy on local, seasonal foods. Mostly Valentine’s Day candy from the Walgreens down the street.
- Never date massage therapists. After winning a fight, they always like to rub it in.
Have you heard about the online origami store? It folded. (From our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )
Just heard that the new zodiac sign is Ophiuchus. Well played Oprah, well played… ツ ( “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily Funny Status Updates)
Funny Picture to Post:
Funny Video to Post: