Facebook Voicemails, Mario Money, & Great Statuses

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Great Status Updates for Facebook:

  • Dieting is for the birds. Which is why you hardly ever se a fat bird. (From our 4.5Star Rated: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • I used to use expensive, illegal substances to blur the lines of reality. Now, I just take off my glasses.
  • Sometimes the one you want is actually the one you’re best without.
  • Trust is like paper…Once it’s crumpled, it can’t be perfect again.
  • One spelling mistake can destroy your life.A Husband sent this to his wife:I’m having a wonderful time wish you were her.”
  • I hate when I cant find my phone because my bed ate it.
  • I yawn all day at work & school. But when it comes to at night, I’m not tired at all. (128+Likes in 9 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Agreeing to everything someone is saying so that they stop talking…
  • Crap happens, Just flush the toilet and move on.
  • A slug is just a snail with a housing problem.
  • All I really want is to be understood. That’s why I’m yelling.
  • A plastic surgeon gets paid way more than a tire mechanic even though they both get paid to fix flats.
  • What did the blanket say when it fell of the bed? Awww Sheeeeeet!
  • I’m a girl. I overreact. I underestimate. I overestimate. I over think everything. I dream big. And when I say I love you, I’m not lying.
  • Some open minds should be closed for repairs.  (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Lately, it seems to cost more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.

Mario Money:

Mario Money


Someone has a little too much time on their hands! Post on your Facebook wall and watch the LIKEs and Comments pour in.

Facebook Voicemails from Mom:


Haha, I think we all have someone in our family that’s “new” to Facebook that asks similarly hilarious questions. Share this with your Facebook friends and ask them what they think!

Craving more funny statuses, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Use our *NEW* Facebook App  for 11,001+ of Facebook statuses to choose from!