Election Day Status Updates, One Liners, Jokes and More!

Happy Election Day, America. Here’s some neutral Political Statuses for you…

Election Day Quotes & Status Updates:

  • Politicians are like diapers.They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
  • I wish politicians cared half as much about doing their job as they do about getting elected. ( 100K+ Statuses: Funny Status 2  5★ Ratings)
  • I just made Romney noodles Obama self.
  • Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.
  • Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
  • The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
  • The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
  • Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.
  • The best way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
  • America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.
  • Vote Democrat – it’s easier than working! |  Vote Republican – it’s easier than thinking!
  • One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
  • Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
  • Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
  • To err is human. To blame someone else is politics.
  • If Obama wins, I will leave the country. If Romney wins, I will leave the country. This is not a political joke, I just want to travel.
Best Romney Status: I’m predicting Obama will take an early lead tomorrow… Until all the Republicans get off work.
Best Obama Status:  Q: Why can’t Mitt Romney screw in a light bulb? A: Because he can’t decide which way to turn.

 

Regular-Old Funny Statuses:
  • Imagine being 100% naked and hearing a bunch of loud noises you don’t understand, that’s what it’s like to be an animal.
  • If you have my phone number but insist on posting some personal tidbit on my FB wall, I’ll beat the crap out of you.
  • Never sure if it’s a roof rack or a cop car.  (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
  • Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for — in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
  • Nobody looks back on their life and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep.
  • I advise you, don’t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu, judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
  • It’s impossible for a woman to say ‘I’m not overreacting’ without screaming.   (Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff ) 
  • Spoiler Alert: You drive a Honda Civic, not an epic Dragon. You don’t need a giant wing on the back. Knock that crap off.

Keyboard Cat for President:

You know the old saying, If you can’t beat em’ , join em! Vote for Keyboard Kitty in 2012 elections.

Easily the BEST Video you’ll watch all day…

Holy smokes that doggie can run fast!

Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… Just, “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

One this is for certain that no matter whoever wins this election. We’ll be back tomorrow with more daily funny status updates, pictures, and videos for your comedic enjoyment. Thanks for reading 🙂