Instead laugh it up and make your friends laugh with these…
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Why is it called Alcoholics ANONYMOUS when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic’? (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App)
Listening and hearing are two different senses.
You are never fully dressed until you wear a smile.
- The further I get in my education, fewer and fewer terms get defined by professors, and fewer and fewer textbooks have glossaries. Essentially I attend the University of Wikipedia.
- I resolve that in 2010 I will kick my procrastination habit in 2011.
- I wonder if the first person to ever pop corn thought they were under attack.
- Now I get the whole Christmas “shopping season” but, why is it that when I go someplace like Target, the store isn’t any more crowded, but the parking lot is utter chaos? ツ ( “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily Funny Status Updates)
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
Lawyer (n): Larval stage of Politician.
If you treat every situation like a life or death matter, be prepared to die a lot of times.
- Nothing like a visit from an out of town friend to point out how little I actually know about the city I live in.
There’s an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to. (From our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )
Funny Picture to Post:
Maybe 92 and 93 shouldn’t sit together. Just sayin’
Funny Video to Post:
I mean I hate taking out the trash too, but dangggggg.