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Great Facebook Status Updates:
- I grew up in the era where you had to go to channel 3 to play video games.
- Never confuse education with intelligence.
- Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. – The Opportunist
- I just confirmed it. I am not fat. I am having an allergic reaction to food and calories.
- Texting totally changes your perception of how long stoplights are.
- One bad decision away from a good time.
- Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days.
- There is a button on my oven that says “stop time”, it’s probably meant to say “stop timer”, but I don’t touch it… Just in case.
- If you don’t use your partner as a hand and foot warmer, you’re not in a real relationship.
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- I don’t go to the casino because I get enough gambling excitement logging into my banking account.
- 4 out of 5 fingers agree that you’re a good driver.
- Some mornings it’s best to just fill the sink with coffee, dunk your head in it, and suck.
- Baby strollers these days are getting out of hand. You’re walking a baby. Not taking it 4x4ing through a gladiator pit on a far off planet.
- If you’re riding shotgun, you’re automatically on cop look-out. With great power comes great responsibility.
- I see subway employees are still having their “how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich” contest.
- Dial 3 2 1 2 3 3 3 2 2 2 3 6 6 to get a beautiful rendition of “Mary had a Little Lamb”
- That awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether or not to tell them because you can’t explain why you were looking down there.
- Last night I was drunk and asked a cat if it could talk. It said, “Me? How?”
- It’s ridiculously amazing how fast all jealousy and hatred towards a person vanishes once they post an ugly picture of themselves online.
- Movies are so unrealistic. This guy’s using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe…
Funny unintended optical illusion… looks like the guy is riding the girl:
The longer you look at it the funnier it becomes.
Pug Climbing Stairs is Magical…
He must have learned from Tigger. Something about this video is mesmerizing. I can watch it on repeat all day! Bouncey. Bouncey. Bouncey.