Clever Statuses, New Best Friends, & Blond on Escalator

Make your Monday awesome by sharing these…

Clever & Witty Status Updates for Facebook:

  • A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you? (From our 4.5Star Rated: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze and correct yourself to determine whether it is justified.
  • “What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
  • Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure… it’s called a credit card.
  • Having your cell phone clipped to your belt is helpful for letting everyone know that you won’t be getting laid tonight.
  • Kinda like Facebook, I wish I could ‘hide’ people in real life.
  • I’m starting to think I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my own home.
  • Don’t let my bedroom floor fool you. It may appear dirty, but those are actually clean clothes that I haven’t folded in months.  (125+Likes in 9 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
  • Of course I can keep a secret. It’s the people I tell it to who can’t.
  • Ever since I misplaced my dictionary, I’ve been at a loss for words.
  • LIKE IF you… walk into a room, forget what you need, walk out, and then remember.
  • Enjoy your youth. You’ll never be younger than you are at this very moment.
  • Truly best friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.
  • Irony…the opposite of wrinkly.
  • My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.  (From Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Time is free but priceless. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back!

New Best Friends…

New Friends


What, you haven’t seen a raccoon cradling a kitty before? Share these two new best friends on your Facebook wall and watch the LIKEs fly right in.

Blonde Girl can’t Figure out Escalator:


LOL, she isn’t doing much to fight the stereotype. Post to your FB wall and see what your friends think of this one.

Craving more funny statuses, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Use our amazing Facebook App  for 11,001+ of Facebook statuses to choose from!